Not a Pitty Party

So...This is post is not a pitty party, I just simply need to write up my feelings. After all...this is my blog ha ha :)

Remember how those good and bad days will come and go...well a bad day has come. As I sit here trying to remember how strong I have been these last couple of weeks...I am not feeling so strong today and that's okay I guess. It's been rough today as I realize I am done with school for the semester and well...though there are many things coming up and many things to look forward to, I find myself feeling really empty still.

Today would have been my 12 week appt. and maybe that's half of the reason I feel so down today. It breaks my heart when I think about all the changes John and I were preparing for and though one day we will get that chance to become parents again, it is still hard to not have that to look forward to right now.

As I write this post I feel so guilty that I feel so down today...but I have the right to feel this way...right? I feel guilty because I know how blessed I am and I hate to feel so upset when I have been given so much. There is nothing more that John and I want then to have children...It's that whole trust in the Lord thing and it will happen when it's supposed to.

I'm still trying to learn patience...that's something I'll be working on forever.

So...Like I said, this is not a pitty party, just needed to vent :)