Nervous...

So, today I had this orientation thing at the hospital because I am going to be helping out with some billing...I guess you could say it's like a second job, but not really :) It's five hours a week and really good pay...extra money that can be spent on vacations, clothes, or buying my husband something really nice! ha ha so anyway...back to what I got on here to blog about. I thought this orientation was going to last until three, but I actually got out and one. I got home and well, gave the doctors a call, something I should have done months ago...but I've been extremely NERVOUS! I guess you can say John and I have been trying to have children and aren't having much success. When I was 16 years old I was diagnosed with endometriosis and a severe case of ovarian cysts. I remember the doctor telling me, "if you were old enough I would tell you to have children right now". Now sorry to through in all the fun womanly parts into this post, but I got a laperoscopy done and well...my right ovary wasn't functioning. It had been damaged by all the stuff going on inside of me. Sad enough to say...the doctor told me that getting pregnant when I was older would be a challenge...Just what you want to here, right?! For some reason in the back of my head I tried to ignore that fact and now that we are trying and wanting children, those words are haunting me in my sleep...seriously though! I try to be funny and make joke of this situation, but it's not easy I'm not going to lie. It's what I think about 24/7 and it makes me cry thinking that there is even a slight possibility I won't be able to have my own children. So, before I decide to jump to any conclusions, I made an appt. with a doctor that my sister-in-law recommended. ( a big step for me) I thought I wasn't going to have to involve a doctor to tell me how to get pregnancy, but I thought wrong...Can March 1st come soon enough??? That is when I will go meet with Dr. Spencer and we will try to figure out what to do next. I'm NERVOUS...This appt. will probably consist of setting up a time for surgery (Lapo again) that way they can see what going on in there...if there is more damage or blockage (sorry for the openness, hopefully no one gets completely grossed out by this)

Though I am having a rough time with this right now...I know it's all going to work out. I am trying to be positive, not stress, and be patient with my Heavenly Father and myself. I love my husband and can't thank him enough for being here for me. It's been rough and hopefully something that will pay off in the end. So...MARCH 1st! BRING IT ON! :)

Happy V-Day!